This post is inspired by a recent journal entry for a creative writing class I lead. I asked everyone to think about a question, “What do you need more of in your life at this moment?” I took a moment to reflect on this same question myself and here is what I came up with….
If you would have asked me this same question a year and a half ago I could have come up with a laundry list of items I thought I need more of; money, things, confidence, patience and balance just to name a few; and probably even more things that I need less of: stress, work, weight. I was always trying to change something, in a constant internal battle of never having enough, being enough.
After completing a little soul searching and 9 months of yoga teacher training I have come to appreciate this little thing yogis call santosha, or in English contentment. I try to practice an attitude of contentment in all aspects of my life. I use the word “try” because it doesn’t always come natural or easy. When I am running late for work because my cat pees on my carpet, or when I feel needy, disappointed or anxious, gratitude doesn’t come quite as quickly. Choosing contentment is a conscious moment to moment decision, a decision I try to make more frequently than not. I choose happiness for what I have over a yearning for wanting more because surely there will always be more or less of something to have. When I step back to take a moment to reflect on all I do have it is often enough to give me the perspective I need.